While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Did I show you my penis last night?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize