Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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