I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
