she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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