I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
