No, you can still breathe under the balls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
