Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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