just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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