During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
