Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
