these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
