Sponge bath it is.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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