i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize