you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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