So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
