Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
