he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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