i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
