I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
