these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
