do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They took my balls.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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