awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
