i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
