he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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