If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
