put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
