All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
