dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
