i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
