I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
