why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
