tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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