Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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