brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
