so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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