Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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