I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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