why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
