talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
