Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i now understand why vodka
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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