Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize