i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
