She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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