Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
