I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize