woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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