and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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