The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
