whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize