Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
