some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
