11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
