I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize