I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
