Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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