bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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