Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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