I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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