do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
did i walk over a car last night?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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