he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
