Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
